Thursday, February 03, 2005

satan rocks!



I spent a good portion of the day listening to IRON MAIDEN (caps mine). Look, MAIDEN rocks. I think they're the band I've listened to the longest in my life, and they're the only band that it's okay if you wear their shirt to their concerts.

I have a hard time picking out which MAIDEN album I like the best, but right now, it's the Seventh Son of a Seventh Son, not only does it have their only pop song--"Can I Play with Madness?"--but it's also MAIDEN at their most detached from reality. It's like a D&D campaign set to music. The only albums that can even come close are Helloween's Keeper of the Seven Keys parts one and two, which are close to the pinnacle of sword and sorcery metal--so much so that I actually did base a D&D campaign on them (there it is, I'm a recovering Dungeon Master). That's pretty hardcore (lame).

But MAIDEN is a band so fucking powerful, they have their own Armor Class (and I'd bet it's pretty damn low, too, by the old rules as R has informed me)--Seventh Son of a Seventh Son illustrates a band of swarth heroes (MAIDEN) who have reached polymath levels in their magical skills. Bruce Dickinson sounds so damn sincere singing about sorcerers and dragons and demons and shit that you can't help but want to drink grog and save lasses and Steve Harris' galloping bass lines make me feel like I'm trampling into battle on my faithful gryphon steed. For those reasons, it makes it really difficult to listen to in the work place...I really wanna do that stuff. I can slay things. Really!

This isn't some wannabe kitschy, ironic shit, either. I really like this stuff, even if it is born out of some 13-year-old boy's masturbatory fantasy. I think I was 13 when I heard them the first time, and I haven't looked back since, no matter how many people gave me funny looks as I sang that shit while driving my car. Live After Death changed my life. Thanks, MAIDEN.

2 comments:

Erratic Prophet said...

Dude..

Ok. That album did rock. Did. Let's move on to the current decade.

Like I'm one to talk, right? Hee!

And if we're getting all into the geek code, would you say that their instruments were +4? Maybe there's a vorpal guitar and if you hit a certain chord right (like rolling a 20) you can behead someone. And I need to stop because I'm horribly ashamed of myself at the moment.

if_i_had_a_hammer said...

seriously. +4 vorpal action on steve harris' bass for sure. it'd probably be enchanted in such a way that it's legendary, so only he could wield it.

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