long distance

I just got off the phone with my cousin. He's 17. I remember the day he was born; not very well, but I remember when it happened.

He called me out of the blue; I know his sister and my sister had a falling out. It's our Sicilian blood. We're all about vendettas. He told me that he was worried, because things are going to change. His friends are graduating or have graduated high school, and he's about to do so himself, and he knows things are going to be different. I sipped Seagram's VO on the rocks as he spoke and tried to give advice where I could.

He talked about his drinking and experimenting with drugs, about the girlfriend who dumped him, about wanting to make movies and that he was in a band and things like that. He was worried about how his life was going to turn out. I said it sounds like he's doing okay. "Sounds like you're doing better than I am," I joked (kinda). And he said "I hope not."

He went on about all the funny stuff he and his friends had done, why they call him "Shroom"--he said he only tried it once and ate about six of them, and I'm pretty sure it takes more than six--and I laughed and made comments in the appropriate places. He said he called me because I always gave him really good advice, and that he needed a guy to talk to sometimes. I don't have a problem with that. I felt honored, though the liquor and the late hour made me more truthful than I probably should have been.

Prior this evening, a bunch of my roommate's young friends came over. They're in high school, even younger than my cousin, and they were all wasted. Eventually, two more girls showed up, one of whom could barely stand. She was probably 15 years old. She was throwing herself at everyone and asking them to make out with her. She tried to grab me, but I moved past, drunk as I was, I'm not stupid. Eventually, I found her face down on my floor, making out with my carpet; we told her she had to leave.

Listening to my cousin and thinking about the wasted kids brought me back to how I was at that age. Any wishes I'd had of regaining my youth quickly evaporated--what an awful and terrifying time. If only it got any better.