Sunday, April 10, 2005

perhaps it's for the best

A business trip to the city was cancelled this morning, so I decided to head back to bed. I didn't wake up until 3pm. I hadn't slept in that late in a long time, and I can't say that it felt good. I just didn't want to leave my bed; that happens from time to time. Eventually, when I realized I wouldn't be falling back to sleep, I through on a ratty pair of shorts and snuck out into the kitchen to take meat for stir fry out of the freezer to defrost. I scampered quickly back into my room and shut the door.

I did, however, speak to my grandmother. It was her birthday and she turned 102 (seriously). I also spoke to my sister, and she asked me to be an usher in her wedding, today her boyfriend (her fiance now) popped the question. I'm very happy for the both of them, and, of course, I agreed to be an usher in their wedding.

All in all, it was a festive day, but being so far away from home put some separation between the happy goings on and I. All I had to celebrate locally was an in-town appearance by rapper Trick Daddy, so celebrate I did.

I didn't go to the Trick Daddy show, because it was fucking expensive, and really, I had no interest in seeing him perform (even though Trick loves the kids), but the fact that a higher profile act was passing through our bland borders was cause for joy amongst the town's youth. At a tattoo parlor, just minutes before the show, tight-shirted dudes strutted around with short-skirted chicks and tried to act like they were street--the SUV that daddy paid for just a block away.

There would be parties, of course, and rather than sit home alone, I figured I'd make some calls to see what was cracking. This led me to shindig at a fraternity house on the other end of town. It was over crowded and dirty. Pretty much everything you hear about fraternities is true--make no mistake about that. The place stank of sweat, cheap booze and date rape, but a friend of mine was spinning wax, and I had a couple bottles of Guinness to keep me company.

There were way too many people, and as soon as the music started, two girls tried to beat the shit out of each other. It wasn't my scene at all, but I'd shown up with three others, and my buddy was playing some hip-hop bangers. The mating call had been sounded. The dance floor was a writhing mass of young bodies--one woman wore a Girls Gone Wild mesh cap and jeans slung so low, I wondered if she'd accidentally bought the wrong size--and I did my best to avoid it. Unfortunately, when it comes to being a pervert, as with many other things in my life, I'm all talk.

Once my Guinness was out, I couldn't wait to get out of there. At some point, I made it upstairs and heard there was a bathroom. A gaggle of women exited and I snuck in after them. The stench of urine was potent. The lone toilet was caked with soggy toilet paper, and I was thankfull that the place had a urinal. I held my breath and took a piss that seemed to last for an hour; after that, I cut my losses and split. It was a good time, for sure, but I was tired of feeling old enough to be someone's uncle.

I wandered to the bars in time for last call, then wandered home in time for a shot of tequilla, and I'm hoping to make it to bed before I pass out in this chair.

2 comments:

Erratic Prophet said...

Yay, grandma! Happy Birthday!

Yay, sis! Congrats!

Yay, you! Not so pervy!

Michelle said...

LMAO @ R!

WOW...102...brilliant! Congrats to your sister, just think you'll get to return home for the wedding :o))

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