filler

It's scary how accurately a couple of circles and squares can so accurately represent my person. Here's me as a South Park character.

What a handsome fellow! Let's review.

• Shorn Scalp: my fuck you to Mother Nature for slowly rendering my follicles useless starting at age 19.
• Glasses: since third grade, and getting stronger all the time.
• Bloodshot Eyes: because I'll sleep when I'm dead. Also, see "Beer" below.
• Portable MP3 Player: transforming the walk home from the bars into a one man musical. Source of endless entertainment and embarassment.
• Woeful Countenance: the world is a strange and frightening place, a potentially damaging experience is probably right around the corner, so I usually hover in a state of permanent discomfort.
• Black Music-related T-shirt: thanks to my job and my flimsy financial stature, I can't afford luxuries such as new clothing. Luckily, I have access to an endless supply of promo shirts from bands and movies so I don't have to walk around naked. The world rejoices. By coincidence alone, these T-shirts are black nine times out of ten.
• Beer: where to begin? At work, at home, at play, there is usually a beer around. Sure, you cause me to look like a red-eyed zombie, but thank you for making the rest of the bullshit that much more bearable.

Thanks to R for the swanky cartoonification of my humble person.