jumping on the bandwagon: take me to your leader...

Gillian Chung

Dear, China.

What up, dawg?

It's funny that as I write this, the BBC World Service is yammering on in charming British accents about how China is emerging as the other world's super power. It's been a while since there's been another super power.

Some American business man/politician was interviewed and went going on about how America's still the best and China's way overrated. He even quoted Mark Twain saying that "the rumors of our demise have been greatly exaggerated." He sounded more like he was trying to convince himself, though.

Maybe China is overrated, kinda like buying too much into that first-round draft pick. Sure he looks good on paper, but he hasn't pitched a day in the pros. Either way, I don't see the big deal. It is the world's most populace nation, after all, and I believe the basic tenet of democracy is the majority rules...so I'd like to be the first to welcome the Chinese to global prominence. Sure, you've done some pretty shitty things in the past, but that's what governments do. I'm sure you had your reasons.

I've already been doing my best to assimilate to your culture; I eat the Americanized version of your cuisine at least twice a week (broccoli chicken, who'd have thought? It seems so simple, but I guess that's what makes it so good. Nice work!), and I also have been a big fan of your movies (and if you don't mind me saying, sir, some of your daughters are smoking hot... ...and I mean that with the utmost respect).

Daniel Wu

I'd just watched Beyond Our Ken, starring Gillian Chung and Daniel Wu, and, well, I was impressed. I liked how the director used handheld cameras, because it really made me feel like I was spying on these characters. I'm not sure if you've seen it, China, you're probably busy becoming a super power, but I totally recommend it. It's a very real and modern love story in which no one falls in love and everyone is just driven crazy and vindictive. Nice twist.

I guess no self-respecting super power can exist without a developing entertainment industry. Just look at the old Soviet Union--no good movies. That's what brought down the Berlin Wall.

Anyway, If you are to become a global super power, try to learn from the mistakes of the those that came before you. Though I doubt you will, because you're still a government, after all. Just remember who was the first to welcome you to impending world domination. An ambassadorship would be nice, daughters, whatever.

Sir.

-j.

PS. Really, I'd just settle for sweet and sour pork. I don't think that's too much to ask.