new body on the black market?

Lately, my eyes haven't been so good. I don't think all the screen watching I do is helping matters much, but it's part of my job. The last time I went to the optometrist, he told me that my eyes had gotten much worse since the time before; my eyesight was degenerating faster than it should be. Or at least, he said, that's how it seemed. He couldn't be sure since that was the first visit I had to him. He said there's the possibility that I have something congenital. If that was the case, he said, there wasn't anything they could do. This wasn't the best news, of course. I went to the eye doctor two years ago, which is about how often you're supposed to go, I think. I probably just need new glasses, but times like now I start to worry.

I've had to wear glasses since the third grade. When I first started wearing them, I don't think there was such a thing as contacts. Once the lenses became more accessible, I still couldn't wear them because they didn't make them for people with astigmatism. Now they do, I guess, but I'm so squeamish and protective of my eyes, I don't think I'd be able to bring myself to shove lenses in them. The last time I was at the eye doctor, he couldn't even get drops in there. At one point, I grabbed his wrist like it was a reflex to keep him from putting the drops in there. I felt bad about it. He stopped after that. I don't know why I get so protective; it's not like they work very well or anything. I take my glasses off and everything's a big blur. Sometimes, I can't even make out faces. It's very frustrating for me, because I hate having to depend on anything. At least I finally have health insurance, so I can go to the optometrist. I should probably make an appointment. The last time I went cost me well over 400 bucks, with any luck, this time will be much more affordable.

I had two really weird dreams last night: one involved Kate Beckinsale in an over-sized silk bathrobe, which, now that i think about it, really wasn't all that weird, but the other involved my boss and I playing guitar in my parent's backyard. He was playing chords and I was trying to riff off of him, and it sounded fine to me--nothing spectacular--but one of my female co-workers was there, and she said that she thought it wasn't very good. My boss then replied that what we were playing kinda sucked. After that, I kept trying to play the jangly intro to "Today" by Smashing Pumpkins, which is really easy and in real life (not nutso dream world) I play all the time to warm up my fingers, or if I'm bored, even though I don't know the rest of the song. However, I couldn't do it. I tried changing picks--the one I was using was thin, and I'm usually more comfortable with a medium--but no matter how I struck the strings, I couldn't get it to sound right. I couldn't understand why it sounded fine when no one was around.

I guess that's a pretty easy dream to look into, but it's all the little details thatI think are really batty.

Today was a boring day, and I really didn't do much of anything, though I did take a walk downtown to hang out at the video store. I had a couple of beers with the owner and watched an Italian horror movie as people on their way to the bars stumbled in. There was a concert at a local independent record store, and I thought about stopping in, but I didn't feel like being a part of 'the scene' tonight. It was remarkably cool weather wise today, and it seems like summer really is on its way out. There was a autumn kind of bite to the breeze, and yesterday, I even saw clouds. I almost can't wait till it starts raining. It's been about five months. Of course, after the second straight month, I'll be pretty fucking sick of it.