shhh...quiet

There's no one home but me, and it's kind of creeping me out. I'm up later later than I should be, again, and am unwinding from doing some writing from work by doing more writing.

I'm doing my best to do this every day, even at times like this when I don't have much to write about. I'm sure that if I keep going, however, something will pop up. I've found that I've started analyzing the events of my life to determine whether or not they're blog-worthy, and that makes me sad.

I did have this dream last night where I was offered a job back home, something that would pay me 45k a year and would allow me to be closer to my family. I agreed to take the job--it wasn't exactly what I wanted, but close enough--but when I did I remembered I made a commitment to my current boss and was torn on whether or not to take the new gig. Yesterday, I got my healthcare card--I have benefits now for the next year. I dont' know when or how or even why it happened, but I suddenly have a life out here in California. I feel like I've gone past that point where moving back home is now harder than it is to stay here. I do kinda like it here, so that's not a problem, I guess. I only planned to stay out here for two years, and now it's more than three, and it feels like I just got here. This is the kind of place where ten years can go by in the blink of an eye; it's an easy place to get stuck. That is cause for concern.

The only thing that really worries me is that at this point, all I really have is my job. I have some friends and acquaintences, but most of the people I've known since I've gotten here have gone. Two more are leaving this week. Sometimes I feel that the rest of the world is just leaving me behind--taking one step closer to the finish line. Maybe this is as far as I go.