dreamy...

It's not like it takes much to make Scarlett Johansson look amazing, but Annie Leibovitz took my Top 5 (more like 10) starlet to a whole new level of beautiful woman-itude. I saw this and my eyes instantly turned to cartoon hearts. Swear. This was taken for some Disney thing, but really, that's none of my concern.

my hero...ine... heroine is with an e right?

It's official. A very industrious and civil-minded geek has started a petition to install Olivia Munn (now officially a friend of this space, seeing as she's now been written about twice). It can be viewed and signed here. There are certainly more noble petitions. But while this may not ensure the well being of our children and our children's children, it will, at least, give you something to do while you should be working (like me).

It would be nice to get an unknown to play such an iconic figure. I though that formula worked really well in the most recent Superman movie (even though I was really disappointed with how Kate Bosworth portrayed Lois Lane. I really expected more). Honestly, regardless of who they get, I'm getting kind of stoked about a Wonder Woman movie. Buffy's Joss Whedon is writing and directing so at the very least it'll be fun and entertaining.

my hero

Bruce Campbell is my idol, but Old Spice still smells like old man. I caught this while I spent all morning watching G4 before I did some exercise (it took me five tries to correctly spell "exercise"), showered and came to work. But it's Sunday, you say. And the AFC and NFC title games are on. You're right. It is. And they are. And I'm sure they'll be spectacular.

i'm addicted

I can't stop signing petitions.

A MySpace bulletin from my friend, the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge (we go back) alerted me to the plight of its brethren Tongass National Forest, which is also in Alaska. I won't go into it, but it's about logging. This time, I even wrote a personal note to Forest Service Chief Dale Bosworth on why I thought he should reconsider. Nevermind that until yesterday, I never knew Alaska even had a rain forest, and even if I had, I'd be too afraid to go to it. I thought it was a good letter, though. And I like to think of Alaska as some undiscovered wilderness where you can get a pint of dark beer in the middle of the day next to a bull moose and a Kodiak bear.

Before that, I received an e-mail about a BoDog artist named Nazanin Afshin-Jam, who apparently succeeds at a lot of things, but is most notable for her ability to make me realize that I'm a selfish piece of shit. She was Miss Canada, runner up of Miss World and is now a pop star who has fought endlessly to use her position in the spotlight to raise awareness of humanitarian issues. The e-mail told the story of another Nazanin, a young girl of 17 who was sentenced to death in Iran. Afshin-Jam, herself an Iranian immigrant whose family fled Tehran during the revolution of 1979, was alerted to the story when someone who was doing a Web search for the imprisoned Nazanin found her pop star namesake instead.

Nazanin was out with her niece when a group of men tried to rape them. She ended up stabbing one of them in self-defense, and he later died. There was a petition to keep her from being executed, which must have worked because she was exonerated of the murder charges. I had already signed it though. I guess I missed the boat on that one. Anyway, now she's got to pay blood money or something for killing the dude and her family's dirt poor. There's a fund for that...but NO petition. I feel useless.

If that weren't enough, a third petition (of sorts) was brought to my attention, one the struck closer to home. Olivia Munn, co-host of G4's Attack of the Show and Queen Lord of My Fan Boy Heart, threw her lasso in the race to be the next Wonder Woman. As if being funny and beautiful and knowledgeable about video games weren't enough. I think this qualifies as evidence that there is a God, and his comics collection is about 400 long boxes deep.



(I'm also pretty stoked on parentheses.)

i was asleep when creative writing 101 taught us about the segue

I started writing this post about Time Magazine's Person of the Year, You, meaning Us, meaning Everyone. Belated congratulations, by the way. Basically, the article said that Web sites like MySpace and YouTube have allowed the many to wrest away the power from the few. You can read it here. I guess it's a nice sentiment, but I'm not really sure I agree.

While I accept the award happily (I'm still waiting for my plaque), I'm not sure We're deserving of this dubious honor. We did a lot of blogging and posted a lot of videos, but the only thing that really came out of it was Tila Tequila (she's my friend).

Still, I think in years to come, 2006 will be looked back on as a pivotal year in human history, but I could just be saying that because it's nice to think that you've lived through a pivotal time in human history. I don't remember what else I wanted to say about all that. I started writing it before the holidays. And I don't know how that leads me to this next topic, but I'm just going to make that leap and keep my fingers crossed.

I spent most of the day signing petitions on Congress.org, because I'd signed one once regarding the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge and have since been getting regular e-mails about other issues that will tickle my bed-wetting, liberal fancy. Today, I sent two notes to my representative to let him know I was in favor of cutting interest rates on student loans and tax breaks to big oil companies so they could pursue alternative energy sources. There was a space to add additional comments on both letters, but I couldn't think of anything better to say than "Lower interest rates on my student loans might actually inspire me to make payments on them," for the former and, "I'm too poor to own a car, so I really don't care how much it costs you to fill up your fucking SUV," for the latter. I'm not very good at democracy.

french fried couch potato

I've had a lot of shit I've wanted to write about, but I've been too busy watching television. Thanks to time at home, not having to go to work, I spent countless hours like a vegetable in my parents' living room watching all manners of Law & Order and the Game Show Network. I really like the original show Lingo because it deals with words, is hosted by Chuck Woolery and co-hosted by Shandi Finnessey, who is mega HAWT and as Miss USA 2004 never snorted coke off of Miss Teen USA's barely legal inner thighs...as far as I know. She smiles brilliantly, speaks respectfully to Chuck and punches buttons on a computer. She does all of which very well. Chuck flashes his signature "two-and-two" and does his best not to act like a dirty old man around Ms. Finnessey. I like Chuck. He's got a good voice and great hair. I'm also pretty sure he's always looked the same age. Slackers around the same age as me also regularly appear as contestants and are stoked to win like $600. I like that it's not big money. There are enough millionaires in the world as it is. It's kind of refreshing that there are still game shows that aren't necessarily life changing events. The scruffy dudes and dudettes on this show are just stoked to win rent money and have a few bucks left over for a case of Pabst. I'd be pretty happy with that too.

Tonight was the first two hours of the four-hour, two-night premiere of 24, which is really obnoxious, but I can't help getting sucked into it. I don't think I'd care if it weren't for Kiefer Sutherland. He is Jack Bauer. The first two hours had like nine terrorist attacks, multiple torture scenes, dude who played Kumar (!!!), a big 'SPLOOOSION, whisper-yelling, only one utterance of the phrase "in real time" and Bauer ripped some dude's throat out...WITH HIS TEETH. Yeah. It rocked, and it introduced us to Nadia Yassir, played by yummy Mexican-American actress Marisol Nichols (I'm assuming because she's a competent actress and that most Fox viewers are unable to differentiate between different kinds of brown people). According to her dossier on the official Web site, Ms. Yassir is CTU's Associate Special Agent in Charge, Los Angeles Domestic Unit; fluent in Arabic; and received her Bachelors of the Arts in Languages at the University of Michigan. She's a Wolverine, but I won't hold that against her, because she can rock a headset microphone, business suit and concerned expression like nobody's business. Well played, 24.

Afterwards, I turned on my new favorite show, MTV's I'm from Rolling Stone, which is a "reality" program about six young (and attractive and ethnically diverse (attractively, of course)) aspiring writers who are competing for a year-long job at Rolling Stone as an associate editor (or assistant editor), and all the fame and fortune that entails. This show interests me for obvious reasons. Finally, there's a "reality" show that pertains to my everyday life, though I wish someone would tell me where my fame and fortune are. It's kinda refreshing because it's nice to see people who're really enthusiastic about wanting to do what I do, but, you know, that doesn't stop me from scoffing and snickering at their every move. I'll probably just leave it at that, because I'm not in the mood to launch into a bitter tirade about how they're getting this job the easy way over people who are probably 1000 times more talented and qualified (cough), because, with any luck, I'll be fetching their coffee one day.

bud light for dinner

The last two days have been filled with home and garden magazines, wedding guides, searching for images of Quetzalcoatl and writing someone's engagement announcement. I've done a lot of work--editing, phone calling, e-mailing. I find it best to throw myself into things after the holidays so I don't get bummed out. Unfortunately, our e-mail server's down, and my torrent of productivity hit a violent snag. I was so close to getting everything I wanted done today, but it's going to have to wait till tomorrow. I just proofed an article about framing and picking the perfect frame and matting while listening to In the Aeroplane over the Sea by Neutral Milk Hotel and spilled a quarter can of Bud Light on my desk.

But, you know, that's why they invented paper towels, and I found this on YouTube.



And this afternoon, when I finally rolled into the office, someone sent me this: Beauty is nothing without brains

so. optimism.

I'm trying not to write off 2007 as a complete and utter failure since it's only eight days old. It's my new attempt at optimism. I'm still working, though, and it's midnight, so I'm forecasting clouds on my sunny disposition. The new layout is inspired (and by that I mean cropped and stolen) by Rene Magritte, who is my favorite painter of all time ever. I'm not sure about the pipes.