dear kim bauer
[24 spoilers, so be careful] So there you were, thinking your daddy Jack was daddy dead. That loser Chase dumped you because he couldn't handle you being a wreck.You travelled further down the spiral.
Who could blame you after losing your mother and father? And let's face it. You were always a bit of a problem. I didn't see the first season, but I heard you were a handful. In season 2, you rescued some little girl from her abusive asshole father, which was honorable, but your little caper made life tough for daddy Jack as he tried to track down a nuclear bomb. That's a matter of national security. Number one priority.
I'm sure you had to hear that plenty, though. Priority this and priority that. I bet daddy Jack wasn't at your dance recital in the 6th grade because he had to save the president from a sleeper cell of terrorists in the Carpathian Mountains. That's gotta fuck a kid up. How do you even compete with that?
So then some shit goes down in season 3 (I didn't see the whole thing) and then more shit happens in season 4 (I skipped the whole thing, but I kept tabs) and daddy Jack has to fake his own death. He doesn't tell you--to protect you of course--but he does tell Tony Almeida, Michelle Dessler, the former president and even weird ass computer geek Chloe. Seriously. Chloe? And now Audrey Raines calls you into CTU--a place that holds nothing but bad memories--and tells you that your dad's still alive. Even the evil dude who played Robocop knows you're in a fragile state. You're dating C. Thomas Howell for chrissakes! If that's not a cry for help, I don't know what is.Anyway, I just wanted to write that I think daddy Jack's a dumb ass prick for bailing out on you like that, but it's good to see you back. Even if you're sealed in the "situation room," and the rest of CTU is contaminated with deadly Centox nerve gas.
Sorry you had to watch Edgar die like that. That's cold.
-j.
4 comments:
You will not get me hooked on that show! That's final!
I thought it was kind of the producers not to show Edgar's eyes close and a trickle of poisoned drool trickle from his mouth.
Isn't Chloe married to David Cross? I know she used to annouce "Here's Bob and David!" at the beginningof Mr. Show.
OMG...Edgar dies???? Our new season doesn't begin for another month.
Hey J, i was gonna send a search party out for you..good to have you back!
i told you there were spoilers!!! haha. no search party could find me, michelle. i'm wiley like that.
r, get hooked on the show already.
steve, i think they handled the death really well. i was worried that they'd have him hacking and coughing while writhing on the ground for a few minutes, come back from commercial break with more hacking and coughing, and then do the final countdown. i guess they're pretty humane.
Post a Comment