the king of kings

The best thing about this time of year, other than the friends and family and whatnot, is that tons of little breweries put out bad ass beers. Winter seasonals comprise some of my favorite beers. They're really spicy, and they're almost always really strong. Last year, I wrote at length about the benefits of Anchor Steam's "Our Special Ale" or Anchor Christmas for short. They switch up the recipe every year, and I'm happy to say, after the past couple weeks of extensive testing, they've once again hit a home run.

Coming in as a close, but devastating second is Brown Shugga by Lagunitas. Not only is this one tasty, but it's a hefty 9.9% alcohol by volume. I usually sip one during the course of a night, in front of my television, and fall into blissful sleep. Tonight, I downed two of them and capped them off with an Anchor Christmas. I could go for a good 12-hour nap. But instead, I'm typing this and wondering what train hit me.

It's been fucking cold here, and not California cold either. Actual frigid temperatures have seeped into the valley prison, and walking to my friend's place for a movie and a couple beers was a treacherous journey. The heavy beers warmed me right up, and watching some crazy amphibian monster fuck up Seoul, Korea, got all of us hollering. Good times. But I'm sleepy. Too much time on YouTube. That Justin Timberlake "Dick in the Box" clip is really funny, but I've been on a nostalgia kick lately, and this is my favorite Weezer song.

brimful of asha on the 45

I probably should have stayed home today, but the draw of pizza, beer and rock music proved to be too strong. I called my favorite cab driver up--he drives a limo now, a plush new Lincoln Town Car, and I get to ride around in it for cheap--and ditched my Final Fantasy XII pals (sorry, guys!) to go see some bands at a local pizza shop that's become a sort of venue.

I don't know why bands would want to play anywhere else in this town. First off, their pizza is pretty damn good for California, they have bottles of Pabst for a buck, and since it's a restaurant, it's able to stay all ages. I paid a donation at the door, got ear plugs, a slice and a beer and had a good time.

Afterwards, my friends took me over to this party. I went willingly. I wasn't kidnapped. But once I got there, I was reminded how I'm becoming increasingly less of a party person. All I do is hide in a corner and leach on to the people I showed up with. I don't mingle. And even to the folks with whom I arrived, I rarely talk.

This was certainly a good party. There was a good turn out, people weren't too wasted, and I actually knew quite a few folks there. Still, I did my best to stick to my social chameleon routine and tried to blend into the walls. One good thing that happened at the party was I heard a song I hadn't in a while.



I've been trying to find I Was Born for the 7th Time by Cornershop for quite some time now. I guess it's really not a chore. I could probably just look it up on Amazon and have it in a few days, but I still like the joy of actually finding something that I want. I guess I'm old fashioned. I've listened to it six or seven times now since coming home in the hopes that I'll get sick of it and forget about it for a while. It hasn't happened yet though.

Rediscovering this little gem led me to reminisce about other '90s one hit wonders. One of the best of that crop was Marcy Playground, who I still think got the shaft somehow. I don't know why this album didn't do better than it did. "Sex and Candy," obviously, was a big hit, but there were a lot of other good tracks on it too, like this one.



I guess that's why Time-Life makes nostalgic greatest hits collections.

savage animal: it rolls off the tongue

I'm not going to sit here and try to defend Skid Row. I really shouldn't have to, but the era of rock that they came out of has become the butt of many jokes. And with good reason. Remember Ratt? Dangerous Toys? Great White? Dokken?! Slaughter?!???!1112?!11 These bands were awful. Even then, when I was young, and I didn't know any better, I still thought they were awful. And while i still get a kick out of the occasional Def Leppard song, I know that for the most part, all that shit was pure schlock. But, a couple summers ago, I was driving down to see No Doubt and Blink-182 (modern schlock) with my roommate at the time, and we were both drinking beers and whiskey from a flask while barreling down some two-lane country highway. He was a big rocker kinda guy. He liked fat-bottomed girls and drum solos. He was playing a mix CD he'd made on the car stereo and "I Remember You" by Skid Row popped on. I chuckled at first, but then I realized that it really stood up. It's probably the best power ballad ever. Skid Row, the band's first album, was one of the first I'd ever paid for, so I must have liked it, and listening to one of its biggest hits just then, I realized why. Sure, they were just as pretty as the rest of their contemporaries, but they definitely had a blue collar sound to them--the kind of thing Bon Jovi tried for but never quite attained. I mean, the band is what it is. It's not rocket science. Skid Row grew up in Toms River, NJ, and I don't know what it was like back then, but my aunt lives there now and it's like a city-sized retirement community where everyone eats dinner at 3pm and drives a gray/silver Buick. But maybe back in Skid Row's day, it was a rough and tumble town. Maybe one of them worked at a train yard. Or maybe knew someone who did. I'd like to think that's true.

Tonight, I scored free tickets to go see Sebastian Bach and his band here in town. They played all the hits, and even though no one was there--and Baz pointed that out to two people who were fighting ("What are you guys fighting about? There's plenty of room for everyone. There were more people on my bus last night")--they still unleashed a year's worth of fist pumping, guitar face and drum stick twirls. There was even a drum solo. And when someone threw a blunt on stage, Baz and co. sparked that bad boy up, following suit with a cheesy one-liner. Tonight was a one-off date from their tour with the new Guns N' Roses, and I'm sure they'll play in front at least a few thousand people tomorrow. And I'm sure Baz will blow doors off of Axl, because I saw GNR in the band's prime and Rose couldn't hit a fucking note. He sure could make costume changes though.

Yeah, I'm still pissed off about it.

our friend, the dolphin, rescued by a giant

A lot of shit has happened this year that has been worthy of office water cooler chat time. Most of it has involved either Britney Spears' or Lindsay Lohan's vagina. Both of which are fine topics, but this is probably my favorite story of this year.

Two dolphins in an aquarium in China's Liaoning province ate some plastic on the edge of their tank and got themselves tummy aches. attempts at removing the deadly plastic via surgery failed because their stomachs contracted around the surgical instruments. The following is why veterinarians make the big bucks. Because they're problem solvers.

"Veterinarians then decided to ask for help from Bao Xishun, a 7-foot-9 herdsman from Inner Mongolia with 41.7-inch arms, state media said."

And it worked! Xishun was able to manually extract the plastic chunks, which revitalized the beleaguered sea mammals.

When I first heard this, I thought it had to be a hoax, but it seems pretty legit. I wish I could've been there when the frazzled veterinarian spoke up: "Guys. You might think I'm crazy...But I've got a plan." If you go to the story, there's a link to the video. And it's radical.

don't label me

Ok, I just spent about half-an-hour going back over previous posts and adding labels to them. Isn't that awesome? Well? From the looks of the list, I lead a pretty sad and lonely life, which is probably why I have a blog. That is all.

use the force

I was looking for the new Heidi Klum Christmas commercial, because I saw it the other night and my palms got sweaty. Heidi Klum is way too sexy. So much so that it makes me uncomfortable. Like, I get embarrassed. I couldn't find it. YouTube, you have failed me. I did find the above ad, however, which I hadn't seen before, and it's really funny. Vader, I'm with you, bro.

tryin' to get to yoooooou and that booty...you and that booty

The impetus for this post is twofold: 1) I love this commercial. 2) I wanted to test posting a YouTube video in the new layout. I also don't want to do a lick of work today. So that's threefold.

so. tired.

I spent about four hours fucking around with the new Blogger, which I'm dubbing the Messiah of Blogging. I'm not sure if it made anything easier or better yet, but it sure makes it fun to fuck around with stuff. More changes to come, I think. Any feedback?

counting backwards, 2.0.0 point. zero.

So I upgraded to the NEW BLOGGER, which is both an exciting and baffling process, especially at this time of night. Especially after I've been out at a rock show. Rest assured, this transitional phase will be temporary, and this space will be as bland and awkward as the space you've come to know and love. Thank you for your patronage.

lived in bars and danced on tables

Cat Power's a really beguiling creature. I've seen clips of her performing live and it can get really weird. She did this dance on Letterman that at first I thought was cute and quirky, but as it continued, made me feel really awkward. I get the feeling that you'd be having a very nice conversation with her and then, without warning, she'd begin staring at the ceiling and then turn to start drawing unicorns and butterflies on the wall. I don't know what that means, but Chan Marshall can really write a beautiful song when she puts her mind to it. I really like this video for "Lived in Bars" because it's not so dour and serious as some of her songs get and it reminds me of visiting home for the holidays and getting blotto with old friends of mine. I get to listen to so much music, I sometimes forget about certain albums. The Greatest came out last year, and it's super soulful so go out and buy it.



PS. I know I'm supposed to recognize her as an artist, and I do. She's awesome, but she's got pretty awesome legs too... And I don't feel bad for noticing.

this is where i'm supposed to comment that i can't believe its december already or how it weirds me out that it gets dark so early...

Instead, I'll just post this:



Because Monica Bellucci is pretty fucking ridiculous. And Italian. And 42.

I was watching VH1's The Fabulous Life of Celebrity Moguls today because my life is neither fabulous, nor am I even a menial sort of mogul. One of the celebrities they highlighted was Jay-Z, who I have a lot of respect for as a business man and an artist, though after seeing him slanging Budweiser with his new song, I kinda wish he'd just gone out on The Black Album, which was really fucking good. Anyway, the program's voice over ran over the Jay-Z's impressive resume outside of the rap game--how he owns this, is president of that, etc. The cherry on top was that he also owns his own color, which I'm sure grants you a previously unobtainable level of pimpdom. The voice over explained that Jay-Z has his own shade of blue, aptly titled Jay-Z Blue, and you can get your lap top or bling-mobile or whatever all done up with it. I didn't think this was at all possible. Then I found this article from a December 2005 issue of Rolling Stone. It's really long, but here's the clincher:

Next summer Jay will unveil an entirely new way of marketing himself: a color called Jay-Z Blue. “Jay-Z Blue is a license for corporations to get Jay-Z in the building,” said Steve Stoute, the head of Translation Consultation and Brand Imaging, who’s working with Jay on the project. “Cars, laptops, lots of different things. I got deals lined up like you don’t understand. But the bottom line is would a company pay to get Jay-Z involved in their product line? Yes, because of who he is and what he’s become as an icon. Consumers know that bullsh!t don’t leave his mouth. So when Jay-Z says x is cool he can singlehandedly change things. When Jay-Z says you shouldn’t have a [Range Rover] 4.0 but a 4.6, that changes Range Rover’s numbers. On ‘What More Can I Say,’ there’s a line: ‘I don’t wear jerseys, I'm thirty-plus/ Give me a crisp pair of jeans, nigga, button-up.’ That put Reebok’s NFL jersey business back to fans, removed it from fashion. He can move the cultural needle because they believe his honesty.”

I still have my doubts, but I guess if anyone could pull that off, it's Jay-Z. And "99 Problems" is a really good song with a bad ass video.