hibernation

It's cold, and not just by California standards. I think it's supposed to get down into the 20s tonight. Last night, I stepped out on my porch right before I went to bed, and I forgot where I was. It's almost comforting that it's this cold in November. It reminds me of home. This is the way it's supposed to be, right?

My equilibrium has been totally thrown off since I got back from Thanksgiving yesterday. I think the cold is playing some part in that, but also, one of my roommates moved out--he was living in the side house. My other roommate decided to take residence in the vacant side house and in so doing, took all his belongings with him. Unfortunately, that has left the house quite barren seeing as he was the one who had all the stuff. Now there's absolutely nothing in the house except for my computer desk and lap top, my guitar, a love seat, a dresser, and some various other things, mostly items left over from past residents of the house. I don't even know who this stuff belongs to; no one else seems to either. I just know it's not mine.

I came home to see everything gone, and was instantly bummed. It was my roommate's stuff, so he had every right to take the stuff to the side house with him, but simply because the house was so empty. We'd taken time to arrange everything and had a nice little setup going, and now it's all gone. I don't even have anything to replace it with. I suppose I could buy furniture of my own, and I would if I was broke and weren't going to be moving out of here at the end of May.

I'm so sick of moving. I don't even know where I'm going to go next, or how I'm going to afford the rent increase, but that's another story.

Since everything's gone, there's not much point hanging out in the living room, which is what I liked to do when I got home. Now, I'm confined to my bedroom, which is kinda beat. I have all the necessary comforts in my bedroom, even if it is small, but I like reserving that room for sleeping. I hate hanging out in there all day, but really, there's not much else to do. I could sit on the couch and stare at the wall, maybe read a book, but there's nothing on the walls. It looks like me and my roommate C--the only two left in the main house--are kinda squatting in someone else's abandoned house. It's kinda funny, and kind of sad at the same time.

I like having stuff, but it's not overly important to me, which is good because I dont' have the money to get stuff. It seems to me that everyone I know has stuff. I have some stuff, but nothing important like chairs and couches and stuff. Whatever furniture I do have, I've inherited from people moving out of town. The only things that are actually mine are my twin-sized bed, the little cart thing I put my DVD player/PS2/VCR on and this crappy computer desk that I bought at Wal-Mart for 25 bucks because I wouldn't think twice about throwing it out if I had to. Now, I can't even think about getting rid of the thing. I'm not even sure if I put it together right.

I don't know how people get the furniture and whatnot. Maybe it's all inherited like mine. I try not to take on too many things because I've been such a nomad since I moved to California. I hate moving, and the less stuff I have to worry about the better. I've been lucky because I've been able to move into places that were already established, that had everything set up already, and all I had to do was fill up my bedroom with things. I can fill up an 8X11 pretty good, but anything bigger than that, and we're dealing with some serious negative space.

We need to get another roommate pronto because we're footing the bill this month for the departed guy; it's not anyone's fault, it's just taxing, especially now that it's the holiday season. I have to go shopping. I think about splurging at Best Buy and what a lame ass idiot I am. I got $125 worth of things for $50, and it was the first things I'd actually bought for myself that I didn't need in I don't even remember how long. I think I'm getting too old for this.