ankle baldness is a real thing

So here I am. Happier than a pig in shit in the Pacific Ocean during my trip to the LA-area. Everything's great. I'm enjoying life. I'm even holding a smoothie. How about that. a healthy snack drink. In my other hand are my ratty shoes, but that's not important.

However, if you look further down, past my expanding (well, I've leveled off, actually. I even lost a few pounds) bulk, you'll notice my secret shame.

Ankle baldness.

Much like atop my ginormous melon head, no hairs grow below the sock line. Further proof why my body hates me. So I hate it right back.