taking breakfast TO THE EXTREME!

I stopped by a local Jack in the Box on the way to see some bands last night. I needed something to eat fast, which is usually the case given my schedule, but overall I've been pretty good about avoiding fast food restaurants. Every so often, though, I like me some fast food.

Everyone who worked there, except the manager, was in high school, or could have passed for high school. Two of the girls behind the counter were talking to a customer who was their friend, I'd assume, because they knew him by name. I waited patiently, because I know what it's like to work a shitty job.

[this post was interupted by my friend. we went to some kegger and i spilled jaegermeister on a kitchen floor when i tried to take a shot through a red vine licorice straw. i'm sure other stuff happened too, but i'm just glad i made it home in one piece, though i'm not entirely sure how. -the editor]

Eventually, I got to make my order--some stuff off the dollar menu. Though I love the Jack in the Box commercials, the sad fact remains that most of their burgers make me ill. I got a chicken sandwich, a hamburger deluxe (which is smaller than most of their other burgers mind you) and some fries. I stood off to the side and awaited my meal when I noticed their breakfast menu. Jack in the Box, unlike other fast food restaurants, serves breakfast all day. I think they serve their burgers all day too, which is pretty fucking scary if you ask me. They have about six or seven options on their menu, but my favorite one was the, I swear this is what it's called, the EXTREME (caps mine) Sausage Sandwich. No, really. It's two pieces of sausage, with eggs, I think, and cheese, pressed between an english muffin or biscuit or something. According to the Jack in the Box Web site, it weighs some 217 grams, contains 690 calories and boasts 50 total grams of fat, which even makes McDonald's freakishly gluttonous McGriddle breakfast sandwich light fare by comparison. Now that's extreme.

I'm not pointing this out because I think fast food companies are evil (I mean clearly, they are), I'm just saying, maybe if you're crazy enough to eat anything titled "extreme" on a regular basis, you probably have a death wish. Especially when you consider "extreme" sports usually involve jumping off of bridges with a rubber band strapped to your ankles.

I'm just sayin'.

It seems that in America everything caries supreme, spectacular, or some such hyperbolic adjective. You'd never see tne subdued breakfast sandwich at one of these places. Though honestly, I doubt I'd eat that either.