tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-79496352011-04-21T18:58:45.219-07:00ceci n'est pas une pommeif_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.comBlogger5791100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-41692969746318754112008-09-12T02:19:00.000-07:002008-09-12T02:22:58.608-07:00

I am still blogging, but not here. I saw this new service called Tumblr, and I thought I'd give it a try. Basically, I was too lazy to come up with a new theme for this here space, and found a new blogging system that better represented my apathy. It's kinda slick, and I like it so far, but Tumblr seems a lot more limited than here. Anyway, in the future I may very well return here, but in the

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-87238596616883279522008-08-29T01:58:00.000-07:002008-08-29T02:24:29.562-07:00

It's been a little quiet around here. I know. It's a little stark too. I'm planning on putting up a fresh coat of paint to make things a little more lively, but the ambiguity works for now, I guess.Last Saturday, I went to go see my first Mets game in a couple years. I was meeting up with a couple friends who were arriving on the train. I'd gotten the subway before them, and I wanted to get their

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-33132876030709040052008-08-21T01:14:00.000-07:002008-08-21T02:41:10.886-07:00

Well, I'm home. The last two days of the trip had me back in civilization. The mileage between places got smaller, and on the last day of driving, I passed through five states in six hours. I also encountered traffic for the first time--in West Virginia, where I had an awesome morning through afternoon walking around Morgantown during orientation weekend. There were students and parents

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-51984967991691692182008-08-13T01:45:00.000-07:002008-08-13T02:10:46.683-07:00

Driving on flatland proved to be a big relief. Last night, climbing through the Rockies was stressful upon both me and Kimiko. I think we had our first fight. But leaving Denver (and Colorado) behind smoothed things over between the two of us.I'm sure Colorado is pretty by day, what with all the mountains and whatnot, but at night it's not the most welcoming of places. If it wasn't the mountains

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-23803531926997649312008-08-12T01:50:00.000-07:002008-08-12T01:59:44.419-07:00

I'm alive. Mostly. And in Denver. It was a long day of driving...about 14 hours in total, and I'm really tired. Listened to more "mainstream modern country" than I'd care to admit. I climbed rocks in Utah and chased lizards. I'm just happy to not be in the car, and I'm sure Kimiko's pretty stoked that she's done for the night. Tomorrow, me and my Denver buddy are going to wander around the city

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-24071957611112378352008-08-11T02:56:00.000-07:002008-08-11T09:34:33.202-07:00

Sometimes things don't live up to their names, but that's not the case with "The Lonliest Road in America." I figured that in this age of Internets and Walmarts and strip malls, that there weren't many places in the country that were untouched by the swift hand of progress.I'm big enough to admit when I'm wrong.I pulled into a town called Fallon in western Nevada. It contained--from what I could

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-40812765442185698802008-08-10T11:07:00.001-07:002008-08-10T14:37:05.309-07:00

I feel that I've done all I can in California, because on Friday, I learned how to Frisbee golf (or disc golf, or, as I like to call it, Frolf, which sounds sort of sounds like a hobbit). You wind through the forest and drink beer (or smoke weed if you're so inclined) and toss discs at little poles with baskets on them. Exactly the sort of things hobbits would do. It was a blast, even though it

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-78955242136232845922008-08-07T01:25:00.001-07:002008-08-07T01:36:17.138-07:00

Uh.Yeah.So I haven't done this in a while. In the past six months, or so, I did a bit of this, a bit of that, got fired and am somewhat homeless...though not the type of homeless that keeps you from accessing the Internet. All of my stuff is in the back of my lovely Scion Kimiko who will be my only accompaniment in yet another misguided journey across the Lovely United States of America.Starting

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-377598447497283942007-10-13T11:44:00.001-07:002007-10-13T11:44:58.773-07:00

San Jose Originally uploaded by mutant moth1000 ft of portapotties.

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-20608327004352037822007-09-17T17:51:00.001-07:002007-09-17T18:26:22.376-07:00

TahoeOriginally uploaded by mutant moth I went to Tahoe and it was awesome. Not just because it was so close to Nevada, but that was a big part of it. Here are pics of me and things prettier than me.

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-37836652155979655202007-08-20T18:16:00.000-07:002007-08-20T18:30:53.781-07:00

Other than not going to Comic-Con this year like I wanted to, I also didn't get to go to Lollapalooza like I wanted to, and, predictably, I missed out. I hardly ever hear Nirvana covers, and I think this is the only one I've ever heard that's any good. You can really hear how beautiful the melody is when it's played on pianos and sousaphones and whatever else the Polyphonic Spree plays...Plus Tim

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-35676087235412673012007-08-14T20:56:00.001-07:002007-08-14T20:56:07.367-07:00

awesome Originally uploaded by mutant mothPanko-fried cod with broccoli and baby corns sauteed in garlic and olive oil.

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-79532654891157458462007-07-30T17:36:00.000-07:002007-07-30T18:15:45.581-07:00

This past weekend was San Diego Comic-Con, aka the Most Wonderful Time of the Year. It's the only time people who look like me get to mingle with one another, share our nerddom and also mingle with those who are much more physically attractive than ourselves, and the only time those people have to acknowledge us.I didn't get to go to Comic-Con this year, though I did send a writer. I really

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-71499824602521232172007-07-28T16:22:00.000-07:002007-07-28T16:51:41.714-07:00

I've officially become a patron of the arts. The other day, I got a print by Audrey Kawasaki, who's one of my favorite artists right now. It's not like it's a very long list; I'm not very astute when it comes to following artsy stuff. Still, I'm extremely excited. When I ordered the print, I wasn't sure that I got through in time. Four weeks later, when I was pretty much sure that I hadn't gotten

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-72670655004876556582007-07-27T17:49:00.000-07:002007-07-27T18:20:16.444-07:00

Earlier in the month, I decided, since I would no longer have cable, to subscribe to just about any YouTube channel that interested me in hopes that I would be getting the Internets back soon. One day at work, I was surfing the 'Tube for meatier stuff, newsy stuff, since I wouldn't any longer have access to The Daily Show. One of the featured videos that day was a beautiful, intelligent woman

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-61438317953863440222007-07-25T20:02:00.000-07:002007-07-25T20:26:47.484-07:00

I'm not dead. I've moved somewhat off the grid, meaning that I am now living in a studio apartment without cable or the Internets. I have rabbit ears and comic books and Battlestar Galactica on DVD. It's really fucking good, and that's got almost nothing to do with this or this. But they both help.Yesterday I was at a Jack in the Box, here in downtown just half a block from my office. I stopped

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-21055229647560759702007-07-06T02:25:00.000-07:002007-07-06T03:14:49.977-07:00

Since I saw the first trailer, I was pretty amped up about the Transformers movie. I figured it'd be either one of the coolest action movies ever made or the worst piece of shit since the American remake of Godzilla. Over the past few months, my expectations wavered across the spectrum. But I was crazy about the toys and cartoons when I was a kid, and my love for nostalgia is just too strong. I

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-62287433507292591792007-06-28T01:47:00.000-07:002007-06-28T03:14:32.089-07:00

Some lazy afternoon when most people are at school or work, I was home. Maybe I was sick or maybe I just didn't have anything to do that day. My mother and I ended up watching some guy behind a desk giving a monologue about the trials and tribulations he faced trying to cure his macular pucker. We both really enjoyed it, and it seemed that every time I was at home when most people are at school

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-73511307037781219732007-06-26T01:24:00.000-07:002007-06-26T01:58:10.358-07:00

You know you've hit rock bottom when you're sending out MySpace bulletins about needing room mates. I've officially run out of people I know in town. Luckily, the response has been mediocre. If this fails, I'm hoping there's a comfortable place to squat nearby, or at the very least, I can live in my cushy new car. Less expenses would be welcome, though I'm not sure how one goes about living in a

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-39222322029223046722007-06-12T17:43:00.000-07:002007-06-12T17:59:01.230-07:00

I've spent just about all the work long day listening to the new White Stripes album, Icky Thump, and except for one song, I'm thoroughly pleased. Elephant ruled, the one after that I was pretty eh about, but this one may even be better with than the former, which kinda caused me to fall in love with The White Stripes, and also, Meg, who has been bestowed with the best ta-tas in rock.I'm tired of

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-89614583150614330402007-06-11T20:51:00.001-07:002007-06-11T20:51:33.380-07:00

Party @ the Thunderbird! Originally uploaded by mutant moth.Act like you know.

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-62249309340163861082007-06-09T03:43:00.000-07:002007-06-09T04:32:56.133-07:00

The days since taking home my car (I still haven't named her; I liked the Esme suggestion, though I prefer the full Esmerelda, but it just doesn't seem right) have been difficult ones. One of my best friends in town moved away, another is leaving, and another still may be leaving the office (and maybe even more). On top of that, my godmother died back home, and on the same day, a cousin out here

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-21815293969006722152007-05-31T13:01:00.001-07:002007-05-31T13:01:28.123-07:00

Rolling. Originally uploaded by mutant moth.What I signed my life away for. She still needs a name.

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-92053013984613880532007-05-23T01:59:00.000-07:002007-05-23T02:35:01.500-07:00

The guy at the liquor store isn't a friend of mine, but he might as well be. I see him more than most of my friends. Every time I see him, he gives a big smile and a hearty hello and he's always curious about what beer I'm going to buy. I get a lot of the weirder stuff, a lot of the stronger stuff, which he takes pride in stocking. Once he told me that he wished all his customers had the same

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-2270808975206389552007-05-21T00:15:00.000-07:002007-05-21T00:43:10.973-07:00

I was doing some searching on Netflix for Kate Beckinsale movies, because even though we're madly in love (I sent her a letter about it, and since I haven't received one back, I'm going to assume that my feelings are reciprocated), I've only seen a few of them. I saw an Alice move on the list and moved it to the top of my queue. I guess it was made for British television, but it had a really good

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-39507435990826804772007-05-16T00:53:00.000-07:002007-05-16T01:23:30.177-07:00

I've been playing this game with myself lately. I ponder whether I should stay up late and do some work at home or just try to get up early and take care of it in the morning. Usually, I opt for trying to get up early. Over the past week, it's worked once. Friday, I was at the office by 9 and finished a story on The Meat Puppets. I wasn't as happy with it as I'd hoped. I kinda wrote it long form

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-69583072510799162592007-05-08T02:28:00.000-07:002007-05-08T02:47:51.643-07:00

Over the past week or so, I'd been planning to buy a new Toyota Yaris. The car's small and really good on gas and kinda spunky looking which were all the things I was looking for. I found one with the right color and options and just today handed in my credit application. I was excited."This is exciting!" said the agent at the car buying place who has been working with me over the past couple

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-30451837838258417362007-04-23T01:57:00.000-07:002007-04-23T02:19:03.899-07:00

The Mets dropped two of three at home to the fucking Braves. It's early in the season, really early, but it feels like 1990whatever - 2005 all over again. I can stomach losses to just about any other team, even the Yankees, but I take watching the Mets/Braves rivalry extremely personally. When the Mets lose to the Braves, it makes me want to throw a battery at a motherfucker.I called my parents

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-44155945082254146552007-04-22T03:39:00.000-07:002007-04-22T03:56:48.717-07:00

Or, "Mortimer likes to watch me pee"My lack of fondness for spiders is well-documented. I believe there's even a journal about it (other than this one, something much more academic); but much like my love for my fellow man and sex drive, my fear of spiders has begun to wane, though not nearly as much as the aforementioned.Right next to my toilet, since returning from my trip to Vegas, lives

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-89512080480511610532007-04-19T02:52:00.000-07:002007-04-19T03:20:42.106-07:00

Spider-Man 3 is the best movie of 2007. I haven't seen it yet, but I don't have to. The trailers give me chills. Seriously. I think about the movie and my nipples get hard. I don't even have to go see it. In fact, I might just buy tickets to it and never go. It's already really fucking good in my head, and I wouldn't want to ruin it. That being said, there will be other movies that will tickle my

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-70067299803753552872007-04-12T17:26:00.000-07:002007-04-12T17:28:34.096-07:00

RIP, Kurt Vonnegut (1922-2007).

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-85178561375750910822007-04-11T23:53:00.000-07:002007-04-12T00:24:52.743-07:00

Over the past month, I've had a host of interesting and wonderful and frightening experiences.I went to Texas for South by Southwest, the music industry's biggest schmoozefest. I drank a lot and saw a ton of cool bands. I interviewed some of my favorite artists, including the Meat Puppets' Curt Kirkwood, who took me to his house for the interview and we hung out for almost two hours. When we were

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-48446493764773021132007-03-12T02:00:00.000-07:002007-03-12T02:53:00.799-07:00

There was a dusty cobweb hovering over my head as I watched Barbarians II in bed this morning. Yesterday, my roommates' room was open and I saw how nicely neat it was. I switched over to the Food Network and caught Nigella Bites. All of these things (even the barbarians) inspired me to clean my room. I threw out the garbage, riled up the dust, put away the clothes, vacuumed and Febreezed.It's

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-65539599978322852092007-03-08T02:13:00.000-08:002007-03-08T03:20:43.516-08:00

Now that LOST--which kicked major ass this week--has moved to 10pm, my entire TV-watching schedule is out of whack. I'm left to aimless surfing during the 9 o'clock hour and that has opened my eyes to a whole new world of bad television programs. Tonight, my misguided prime time idleness found me wandering to the "new" CW and its litany of schmaltzy reality programming; I was lucky enough to

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-50482075725282406252007-03-07T15:57:00.000-08:002007-03-07T16:01:33.603-08:00

As awesome as The Daily Show is, Jon Stewart's greatest gift to pop culture is perhaps Stephen Colbert.This clip had me laughing so hard I nearly threw up.

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-88721122565325780392007-03-04T15:48:00.000-08:002007-03-04T16:24:53.264-08:00

Ever since I found the love of my life in Jim Henson's Labyrinth, you can pretty much put that word on anything and I'll want it. I love that word. I like how it's got a "y" in it that you don't really pronounce. It makes the whole thing more mythical and mysterious. I even had this board game called Labyrinth where you had to navigate this marble through a wooden maze. There were holes in the

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-24057376502939505732007-02-26T19:55:00.000-08:002007-02-26T20:01:22.911-08:00

I check my site traffic once a week at Stat Counter. I don't have any good reason for this other than my slight megalomania. My favorite feature of the Stat Counter site is the recent visitor map because I'm a bit of a map nerd--in addition to the 40 other types of nerd-dom I subscribe to. This is a screen shot taken from my most recent visitor map, which I think proves that either dolphins have

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-62300701043810136402007-02-25T17:15:00.001-08:002007-02-25T17:15:17.513-08:00

Oscar party how to Originally uploaded by mutant moth.Just add self loathing, delusions of granduer & drunken snarkiness.

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-71305587919710313172007-02-21T02:25:00.000-08:002007-02-21T13:16:37.436-08:00

Ever since I was introduced to the term in my parapsychology class (I used to smoke a lot of weed), I've been a wholehearted subscriber to the phenomenon of synchronicity. Like most ideas championed by Carl Jung, it just made sense to me. Once I was introduced to the idea, I began seeing instances of synchronicity all the time in my own life and in the world around me, and that's even after I

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-82748594604711045762007-02-19T16:48:00.000-08:002007-02-19T16:50:05.988-08:00

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-61161382012467542402007-02-17T00:22:00.000-08:002007-02-17T00:34:35.846-08:00

When we got back from Vegas this evening, I dropped my friend off at his house and went inside to use the bathroom. Turned out, his girlfriend got left his Valentine's Day gifts in his room. He got a tube-thing of Toblerone (which he gave me some of because he doesn't eat chocolate (SCORE!)) and two tickets to a basketball game. I, of course, returned home to nothing. But when I checked my e-mail

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-19965184569506135512007-02-16T12:34:00.001-08:002007-02-17T00:41:21.483-08:00

GnomingOriginally uploaded by mutant moth. Gnome says when u go 2 Vegas do it right. Roll with the god of plenty & eat buffets. Heading home with a hoarse throat & a heavy heart.

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-47634004461450493762007-02-14T13:27:00.001-08:002007-02-17T00:42:52.465-08:00

Gnome saysOriginally uploaded by mutant moth. Had so much fun @ the party. Even went on the dance floor ' boogied with a wee, chubby Japanese woman. Then got denied entrance @ 2 night clubs before spending quality with Vegas's nicest stripper.Free Peroni & bagels 4 breakfast.

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-17206364194603517972007-02-13T22:31:00.001-08:002007-02-17T00:41:56.581-08:00

Happy endingsOriginally uploaded by mutant moth. Aoki & Hyde from 70s Show djing @ TAO in the Venetian. May die from my own scene points.

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-69384274920142802462007-02-13T03:56:00.001-08:002007-02-17T00:42:20.670-08:00

Vegas night recapOriginally uploaded by mutant moth. More Coronas. 60 bucks down. Hasselhoff... Being.

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-2050347310393835052007-02-13T01:04:00.001-08:002007-02-17T00:43:22.425-08:00

Vegas dispatchOriginally uploaded by mutant moth. 5 Coronas. Jamisons. Down 40 bucks.

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-36706688804526113822007-02-12T01:56:00.001-08:002007-02-17T00:43:42.539-08:00

GnomeOriginally uploaded by mutant moth. With my chicken fingers. The woman @ the table next 2 me is falling asleep.

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-44101974503217817362007-02-12T01:41:00.001-08:002007-02-17T00:44:14.426-08:00

Vegas rulesOriginally uploaded by mutant moth. Im warted and tryinng to get chicken fingers. But ive been sitting here 4 15 minutes and i will be sleeping on a cot. Does this make sense? Circus circus bitches!!!

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-17765232963505435112007-02-11T02:06:00.000-08:002007-02-17T00:38:00.011-08:00

I'm such a sucker for card tricks. I know it's not really magic, but it might as well be. I figured in honor of my trip to Vegas--speaking of which, I should be asleep already--I'd post this in hopes that I won't get swindled out of all my money. Just most of it.

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-21190817677647074052007-02-10T17:07:00.000-08:002007-02-10T03:10:47.433-08:00

After many good months of service (probably around two years) with my trust bulky Sanyo, I've upgraded my cell phone to something more of a "mobile device" with a sleek, sexy, socially conscious Motorola Razr v3 Red. It has Bluetooth and these two little memory card things that serve some purpose, and fit in some phone slot, that remain unknown to me. It can also take video, receive e-mail, take

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-12241114657462581462007-02-09T02:49:00.000-08:002007-02-06T19:39:09.907-08:00

On Sunday, I'm driving to Vegas. It's over 10 hours away. I'm going for work--for a series of fashion trade shows where I will be pimping myself and my magazine. I will have business cards and handshakes at the ready. Maybe finger pistols too, if the mood strikes me.It'll be my first time in Vegas, which is an exciting and frightening prospect. Considering I'm not very wealthy and am hopelessly

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-68344202505175775832007-02-05T14:21:00.000-08:002007-02-05T14:24:39.047-08:00

This was probably my favorite Super Bowl ad. And this was a close second. Rolling "R"s was so hot this year.

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-32369480569144021122007-02-02T13:01:00.000-08:002007-02-02T13:47:58.139-08:00

I listen to tons of new and exciting music everyday, but when I want to put on something, to rock out to, I'm usually just listening to my old copy of REM's Monster or Melancholy and the Infinite Sadness or Dinosaur Jr.'s Bug or something else that labels me as a old rock has-been. I'm fine with that. Sometime in 2005, there was something of a "grunge renaissance," at least that's how it was

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-53690749482349552902007-01-26T18:58:00.000-08:002007-01-26T19:14:17.140-08:00

It's not like it takes much to make Scarlett Johansson look amazing, but Annie Leibovitz took my Top 5 (more like 10) starlet to a whole new level of beautiful woman-itude. I saw this and my eyes instantly turned to cartoon hearts. Swear. This was taken for some Disney thing, but really, that's none of my concern.

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-76188291096882978752007-01-25T20:22:00.000-08:002007-01-25T20:46:21.802-08:00

It's official. A very industrious and civil-minded geek has started a petition to install Olivia Munn (now officially a friend of this space, seeing as she's now been written about twice). It can be viewed and signed here. There are certainly more noble petitions. But while this may not ensure the well being of our children and our children's children, it will, at least, give you something to do

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-20201413198278508172007-01-21T12:06:00.000-08:002007-01-21T12:13:57.615-08:00

Bruce Campbell is my idol, but Old Spice still smells like old man. I caught this while I spent all morning watching G4 before I did some exercise (it took me five tries to correctly spell "exercise"), showered and came to work. But it's Sunday, you say. And the AFC and NFC title games are on. You're right. It is. And they are. And I'm sure they'll be spectacular.

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-41259934807175896982007-01-18T19:19:00.000-08:002007-01-18T20:02:07.936-08:00

I can't stop signing petitions.A MySpace bulletin from my friend, the Arctic National Wildlife Refuge (we go back) alerted me to the plight of its brethren Tongass National Forest, which is also in Alaska. I won't go into it, but it's about logging. This time, I even wrote a personal note to Forest Service Chief Dale Bosworth on why I thought he should reconsider. Nevermind that until yesterday,

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-1904047310828757382007-01-18T04:43:00.000-08:002007-01-18T05:50:55.840-08:00

I started writing this post about Time Magazine's Person of the Year, You, meaning Us, meaning Everyone. Belated congratulations, by the way. Basically, the article said that Web sites like MySpace and YouTube have allowed the many to wrest away the power from the few. You can read it here. I guess it's a nice sentiment, but I'm not really sure I agree.While I accept the award happily (I'm still

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-86238827707848597132007-01-15T01:05:00.000-08:002007-01-15T02:15:11.078-08:00

I've had a lot of shit I've wanted to write about, but I've been too busy watching television. Thanks to time at home, not having to go to work, I spent countless hours like a vegetable in my parents' living room watching all manners of Law & Order and the Game Show Network. I really like the original show Lingo because it deals with words, is hosted by Chuck Woolery and co-hosted by Shandi

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-12625440943850406912007-01-09T19:57:00.000-08:002007-01-25T20:50:09.545-08:00

The last two days have been filled with home and garden magazines, wedding guides, searching for images of Quetzalcoatl and writing someone's engagement announcement. I've done a lot of work--editing, phone calling, e-mailing. I find it best to throw myself into things after the holidays so I don't get bummed out. Unfortunately, our e-mail server's down, and my torrent of productivity hit a

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-85468277204545939322007-01-08T23:52:00.000-08:002007-01-08T23:57:20.455-08:00

I'm trying not to write off 2007 as a complete and utter failure since it's only eight days old. It's my new attempt at optimism. I'm still working, though, and it's midnight, so I'm forecasting clouds on my sunny disposition. The new layout is inspired (and by that I mean cropped and stolen) by Rene Magritte, who is my favorite painter of all time ever. I'm not sure about the pipes.

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-90229965704029185572006-12-19T03:24:00.000-08:002006-12-19T04:05:54.362-08:00

The best thing about this time of year, other than the friends and family and whatnot, is that tons of little breweries put out bad ass beers. Winter seasonals comprise some of my favorite beers. They're really spicy, and they're almost always really strong. Last year, I wrote at length about the benefits of Anchor Steam's "Our Special Ale" or Anchor Christmas for short. They switch up the recipe

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-20009653218581142152006-12-16T01:53:00.000-08:002006-12-16T02:28:01.805-08:00

I probably should have stayed home today, but the draw of pizza, beer and rock music proved to be too strong. I called my favorite cab driver up--he drives a limo now, a plush new Lincoln Town Car, and I get to ride around in it for cheap--and ditched my Final Fantasy XII pals (sorry, guys!) to go see some bands at a local pizza shop that's become a sort of venue.I don't know why bands would want

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-45748042581227051922006-12-15T01:03:00.000-08:002006-12-15T01:42:46.107-08:00

I'm not going to sit here and try to defend Skid Row. I really shouldn't have to, but the era of rock that they came out of has become the butt of many jokes. And with good reason. Remember Ratt? Dangerous Toys? Great White? Dokken?! Slaughter?!???!1112?!11 These bands were awful. Even then, when I was young, and I didn't know any better, I still thought they were awful. And while i still get a

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-53337928375295818782006-12-14T17:22:00.000-08:002006-12-15T01:00:36.985-08:00

A lot of shit has happened this year that has been worthy of office water cooler chat time. Most of it has involved either Britney Spears' or Lindsay Lohan's vagina. Both of which are fine topics, but this is probably my favorite story of this year.Two dolphins in an aquarium in China's Liaoning province ate some plastic on the edge of their tank and got themselves tummy aches. attempts at

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-90993766288200599172006-12-13T20:59:00.000-08:002006-12-13T21:01:01.910-08:00

Ok, I just spent about half-an-hour going back over previous posts and adding labels to them. Isn't that awesome? Well? From the looks of the list, I lead a pretty sad and lonely life, which is probably why I have a blog. That is all.

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-54317511263588951582006-12-13T20:23:00.000-08:002006-12-13T20:31:44.731-08:00

I was looking for the new Heidi Klum Christmas commercial, because I saw it the other night and my palms got sweaty. Heidi Klum is way too sexy. So much so that it makes me uncomfortable. Like, I get embarrassed. I couldn't find it. YouTube, you have failed me. I did find the above ad, however, which I hadn't seen before, and it's really funny. Vader, I'm with you, bro.

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-71068102062533811512006-12-11T15:27:00.000-08:002006-12-11T15:30:49.043-08:00

The impetus for this post is twofold: 1) I love this commercial. 2) I wanted to test posting a YouTube video in the new layout. I also don't want to do a lick of work today. So that's threefold.

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-75696746435903647992006-12-09T16:06:00.000-08:002006-12-09T16:08:33.500-08:00

I spent about four hours fucking around with the new Blogger, which I'm dubbing the Messiah of Blogging. I'm not sure if it made anything easier or better yet, but it sure makes it fun to fuck around with stuff. More changes to come, I think. Any feedback?

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-11119069954399628152006-12-09T03:06:00.000-08:002006-12-09T03:08:33.760-08:00

So I upgraded to the NEW BLOGGER, which is both an exciting and baffling process, especially at this time of night. Especially after I've been out at a rock show. Rest assured, this transitional phase will be temporary, and this space will be as bland and awkward as the space you've come to know and love. Thank you for your patronage.

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-1165375453476903282006-12-05T19:10:00.000-08:002006-12-13T20:30:35.789-08:00

Cat Power's a really beguiling creature. I've seen clips of her performing live and it can get really weird. She did this dance on Letterman that at first I thought was cute and quirky, but as it continued, made me feel really awkward. I get the feeling that you'd be having a very nice conversation with her and then, without warning, she'd begin staring at the ceiling and then turn to start

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-1165315675291558282006-12-05T02:20:00.000-08:002006-12-13T20:32:32.206-08:00

Instead, I'll just post this:Because Monica Bellucci is pretty fucking ridiculous. And Italian. And 42.I was watching VH1's The Fabulous Life of Celebrity Moguls today because my life is neither fabulous, nor am I even a menial sort of mogul. One of the celebrities they highlighted was Jay-Z, who I have a lot of respect for as a business man and an artist, though after seeing him slanging

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-1164878869273287342006-11-30T00:42:00.000-08:002006-12-13T20:33:08.270-08:00

Whoever said--and there's been about 18 of you--that turning 30 would be wonderful clearly had no idea that the universe hates me. Seattle was great, Thanksgiving was fun, my fatally spicy Thai lunch today was great. I suppose I can't really blame a birthday, but other than the aforementioned, shit's been really, well, shitty. I don't know how else to say it. Today's meeting didn't go well at

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-1163927260492258502006-11-19T00:42:00.000-08:002006-12-13T20:33:53.434-08:00

I've officially had two hangovers at age 30, and both of them have been unbelievably miserable. In general, they've been getting worse over the past year, but the most recent ones have been really bad. Last night, during my sprint home from the bars (it was a really weird night, and power walking felt really good), I acquired a particularly nasty headache. I knew I was in for it.I woke up,

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-1163561020898621732006-11-14T19:05:00.000-08:002006-12-13T21:05:13.670-08:00

Hi, Everyone. It's me, Jenny Lewis, singer/songwriter from the band Rilo Kiley, and more recently, my own solo project Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins. I'm writing from J's subconscious because he's pretty fried, but he wanted to let the four of you who read this (and all the pervs from Europe looking for Asia Argento n00dz) to know that he's not dead and will probably be writing soon.Upon

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-1162377308699768932006-11-01T02:11:00.000-08:002006-12-13T20:35:07.318-08:00

First off. Is Halloween over now? Good. I feel like I've been celebrating it for a month already. It was good times. A lot of fun, but no offense to all the sexy devils out there, but I'm ready to move on. I've been 30 for two hours and five minutes and I'm already grumpy.I don't normally get wrapped up in celebrity hook ups and break ups (I mean, I do, but I don't write about them), but Reece

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-1162292451448078952006-10-31T02:20:00.000-08:002006-12-13T20:35:53.590-08:00

I'd like to thank Ms. Lilly for her time as banner woman for Counting Backwards, but I figured since I'd renewed my license today, I might as well slap together a new look in honor of my impending birthday. Nothing will stand in its way now. Cosmic forces have conspired against me to lead me to this moment, and I'm powerless against them.I made really good pasta today, though. Some basil, garlic,

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-1162207207829602012006-10-30T02:14:00.000-08:002006-12-13T20:37:20.424-08:00

I'm totally going through the motions. I'm sure anyone paying attention would be able to figure that out. I've shaved my head, but left the beard, and i don't care how bad it looks. Slap a hat on it and pull the hoodie up and I'm like the thief from the Dungeons and Dragons cartoons--I can more or less disappear. I got a text message at 11:30AM--I'd been up for a little bit--that informed me some

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-1162119712131852792006-10-29T02:44:00.000-08:002006-12-13T20:37:04.090-08:00

I was sitting in this local shitty diner at 2:20AM, which really turned out to be 1:20AM (because of that darn time change thing...still didn't mean the bars stayed open an extra hour), when I realized that Halloween is a good holiday because it's one of the few that gets better when you get older. When you're a kid, it rocks because you can knock on people's doors and they give you Snickers bars

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-1162003054708076612006-10-27T19:33:00.000-07:002006-12-13T20:37:52.609-08:00

Why didn't I think of this first? I figured with Halloween looming its debaucherous head, I'd post up a treat. This is probably the best magazine ever of all time. Ever.

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-1161681999651760222006-10-24T01:51:00.000-07:002006-12-13T20:40:59.274-08:00

Baseball has always done its best to teach me lessons in humility. When I was a kid--and I've probably written about this before--I played little league for a couple seasons. I was terrible, obviously, because I grew up to be a writer/editor and not the second baseman for the New York Mets, but it really wasn't for lack of trying. I really wanted to be a good baseball player, but, damn it if that

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-1161249244368704082006-10-19T01:48:00.000-07:002006-12-13T20:46:09.707-08:00

I've got my game face on, and a beard to match. The beard has become somewhat crucial, I think, to the success of the team. It's, at least, gotten them this far. I haven't shaved since the playoffs started, and I'm not going to until the Mets get knocked out, which very well could be tomorrow night. Either way, it's been such an exciting ride, and I'll never forget actually being able to see one

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-1160713823526257512006-10-12T21:28:00.000-07:002006-12-13T20:43:37.349-08:00

I saw this comedian at Bumbershoot in Seattle. It's a really funny short, and I'm sure someone who reads this will get a big kick out of it, if not some awkward flashbacks. Happy Belated Birthday!!!

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-1160475395051293762006-10-10T02:50:00.000-07:002006-12-13T20:44:18.567-08:00

It's that time of year again. At least it must be, because the neighborhood be stank. I got back from drinking and Jackass Number Two and emerged from my friends car to be confronted by the overpowering skunk of ripening marijuana inundating my street. I guess it ripens. I don't know if that's the right word. It's not really a fruit I guess. At least not in the traditional sense of the

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-1160372787695845672006-10-08T22:26:00.000-07:002006-12-13T20:45:22.091-08:00

So. The Mets clinched the NLDS in Los Angeles, and I was there. It's something I'll never forget. I was sitting in the left field pavillion, and if you were watching the game, you may have seen me, bravely wearing my Mets jersey in the bleachers, when the Dodgers Jeff Kent hit a two-run homer to tie the game at four. Some guy two seats away from me jumped over an old woman and a newborn baby to

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-1159952742383408802006-10-04T02:01:00.000-07:002006-12-13T20:46:41.035-08:00

Tomorrow the Mets embark upon their first playoff campaign in 6 years, and I don't think I've ever been this nervous about a sporting endevor. The last thing I need right now is to become super cranky because my baseball team isn't winning, because I totally will if they don't. Also, We've lost Pedro for the playoffs, now El Duque comes up a big gimpy...it just doesn't look good. I'm trying to

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-1159612463493857342006-09-30T03:27:00.000-07:002006-12-13T20:47:17.523-08:00

I'm a bit of a LOST fan. And by "a bit" I mean completely, rabidly fucking obsessed. I realize there are better things to be occupied with--world peace, the environment, politics, a meaningful relationship--but those things can wait until May when the season's over.In honor of LOST's impeding--and no doubt awe-inspiring--third season, which starts Oct. 4th for us here in the States, Ms. Lilly as

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-1159522190063221432006-09-29T01:51:00.000-07:002006-12-13T20:48:18.983-08:00

For some reason, certain songs are popping in my head. I don't own any file sharing software because of my job, and I'm afraid some of the stuff that's on my computer might leak and alert record label bulldogs whose job it is to sniff out such things. Meaning, I won't be able to get free CDs any more. That's why I'm glad there's digital places like YouTube, so I can listen to stuff I don't have

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-1158743637183968962006-09-20T01:25:00.000-07:002006-12-13T20:49:21.980-08:00

My fantasy baseball season is over. For the second year in a row, I was eliminated in the first round of the playoffs. I thought I had a better shot this year, but all my pitchers decided to crap themselves. None of them consulted me about it. But karma was kind to me. On the same day I was unceremoniously ejected from the playoffs, the New York Mets claimed their spot in the non-fantasy baseball

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-1158577312763748752006-09-18T02:57:00.000-07:002006-12-13T20:50:18.503-08:00

450 million years ago, there weren't any plants. All life on Earth still resided in the oceans and continents--including the Gondwana supercontinent in the sounthern hemisphere--remained dry and barren. Even plants were just getting around to evolving. This is called the Ordovician period. Evidence of this primordial time can be found here, in the confines of my Never Never Land-style college

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-1158225807700850332006-09-14T02:03:00.000-07:002006-12-13T20:51:12.862-08:00

I would have given my left nut if I could've slept through the past three days. I'm not using it for anything anyway.And I don't know why I buy 24oz tall cans of shitty beer like MGD, which is fine in small doses, but these cans never seem to run out. By the time I get to the end, it's always warm and gross and giving me a splitting headache. I'm persistent though. I'll finish it. It's fucking

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-1158183862504984872006-09-13T14:43:00.000-07:002006-12-13T20:51:46.892-08:00

Full story here.

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-1157878528877713312006-09-10T01:14:00.000-07:002006-12-13T20:52:44.276-08:00

I've been meaning to write about the Bumbershoot/Seattle trip, but I can't think of anything to type. It was a fun trip--maybe one of the funnest weekends I've had. I saw a lot of bands:The ThermalsA Tribe Called QuestKanye WestBlondieJeremy EnigkOf MontrealErase ErrataNouvelle VagueAtmosphereThe New PornographersSpoonI think that's it. I also went to a comedy show with Mary Lynn Rajskub, who

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-1157710070150293132006-09-08T02:38:00.000-07:002006-12-13T20:53:50.989-08:00

I had full intention of writing about my Seattle trip tonight, but I went out and got drunk instead. I drank more rum than I have in quite some time and for no particular reason other than the hot bartender with the shoulder tattoo and the low-slung camo pants really knew how to mix her drinks. I'm a sucker for women with shoulder tattoos...and also women who serve me drinks.It was a fun night

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-1157590326394916382006-09-06T17:38:00.000-07:002006-12-13T20:54:59.926-08:00

This is going to be gross, so I warn you.I'll admit that I want to fuck Paris Hilton. I'm not happy about it, but that's the way things go. I'm usually attracted to the worst type of people, more specifically, women who are totally wrong for and unattracted to me. I guess the draw is the feeling of accomplishment. If she's perfect for me and likes me, then what's the point? It's one of the many

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-1157532806082000262006-09-06T01:51:00.000-07:002006-12-13T20:55:22.484-08:00

I'm not dead. Not quite yet, anyway. Back from Seattle where I was preaching my magazine's gospel at Bumbershoot. Yes, It was a lot of fun. I'm sure there are stories to tell, but we had to drive 12 hours to get back home today and I'm pretty tired. I just want to drink some Guinness and fall asleep. Tomorrow, we'll talk.

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-1156852074882215662006-08-29T04:05:00.000-07:002006-12-13T20:58:00.695-08:00

It's funny that I'm writing this at 4:20 am. You'll see why later. If you're cool. Are you cool, man?I just put the finishing touches on some information I've been putting together for my mother. She called me up last week and spoke in that grave mother voice she always does. "I need you to do something for me." Like it was the most dire thing in the world."What mom?""I need you to get on the

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-1156493216289674422006-08-25T00:41:00.000-07:002006-12-13T20:57:15.850-08:00

Because I keep a blog, I feel as though I'm obligated to mention Snakes on a Plane. I saw it this evening, and it was very entertaining, but I thought it ran a little too long.Now that that's out of the way, I'd like to bid a fond farewell to Pluto, the little planet that could. Anyone who's a fan of movies like Rudy surely had a soft spot in his or her heart for Pluto, the scrawny little bundle

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-1156415616958321152006-08-24T02:47:00.000-07:002006-12-13T20:59:24.138-08:00

Just to start off with an aside, I have Photoshop CS thanks to a connection of mine but I haven't gotten around to installing it yet. I made the dandy graphic you see above with the janky but dependable Microsoft Photo Editor. That's my level of skillz. Recognize.Looking at the graphic, you'll notice a malificent being with horns and fangs on the left, and on the right a plate of a meat-like

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7949635.post-1156235001980568762006-08-22T00:28:00.000-07:002006-12-15T01:44:12.953-08:00

There's a spot on the left side of my nose that's a little raw. It hurts when I poke it. Of course, I can't keep my finger off it. There's no bump I can discern, though it does seem a bit red. I think it may be a bit of a sunburn from the wedding I went to on Saturday. It was nice, casual, an outdoor affair, but the sun was a muthafucka. Luckily for me, I don't really burn like most people. I

if_i_had_a_hammerhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13849826564250133973noreply@blogger.com2